Sex, drugs and rock n roll!! And that’s just the crew!

Having spent almost three years of my life at sea I have often thought about writing a book, however I don’t think it would ever get published due to some of the scrapes I have managed to get myself in! 

Instead I pacify myself reading about other peoples adventures on the high seas – some are true life and some are fiction but here are a few of the ones that I highly recommend.

At The Captain’s Table by Hugh Thomson

This is a story of one man’s decision to see the world from the decks of a luxury ship that only carries 400 passengers. This is where it is different from other books I have read as the passengers on here are extremely wealthy and seem to stay on board for months at a time. My favourite quote from the book is from a lady who was asked to dine at the captains table and replied in a beautiful handwritten note explaining that she makes a point of never dining with the staff!!

Cruise Confidential By Brian David Bruns

This is the story of Brian, an American, who decided to work as a waiter on board Carnival Cruise Lines for a massive 13 years. Initially when he starts he is met with fear and loathing as his fellow workers, mainly European, fear he has been put there to spy on them. This is followed by senior Managers trying to break his spirit before they finally realise he is here to stay. What really comes across in this book is the arduous nature of this business as a crew member.

Cruise Ship SOS by Ben McFarlane

Meet Dr Ben MacFarlane who not only has to heal broken bones but broken hearts. In a book that deals with the tragedies of everyday life when you have 3000 people in one place,  and several of them already with major health issues due to age, then you are bound to lose a few on long voyages. Then there are the single widows who see him as a perfect catch even though they are in their eighties.

Cruise Ship Stories by Guy Beach

This is Guys story who worked at sea for over 13 years. In this book you see a different side to working life as Guy was classed as an officer unlike Brian in Cruise Confidential. This book deals with how you get a job on a ship, what’s the salary like and what kick backs you get. It is definitely an interesting read for those cruisers out there.

C-Six by Nigel Roberts

This is by far my favourite book. it is written by Nigel Roberts who spent 10 years on the iconic QE2. I found myself laughing hysterically at the antics of an elderly lady who was eventually placed in the brig for her own safety and sobbing inconsolably as an elderly gentleman went missing overboard after the death of his wife a few months previously. This is a sometimes a sad look into life and death but throughout Nigel makes us feel as if we all know the passengers ourselves.

Here Come The Girls by Milly Johnson

This is a fictitious story set on board Aurora and follows the lives of four friends on their first cruise as they turn 40. Think Shirley Valentine at Sea. What I love is that Captain Paul Brown and Cruise Director Neil Oliver from P & O Cruises  have been credited for helping the author with this book!

Making Splishy Sploshy by Graham F Bond

This is the story of a young man who envisages going to sea as making a better way of life for him and escaping London Docklands. Graham was an engineer and spent many years at sea in 70’s and 80’s when we didn’t care about the environment and many ships were clapped out rust buckets. Some of the stories are unbelievable but true from a long gone era.

Permanent Passenger by Micha Berman

This is the story of Micha who one day was filling in job applications and the next day was flying to Miami to join Carnival Ecstasy as an Assistant Cruise Director. Micha discusses stowaways, sea rescues and romance as well as chasing Cruise Executives into cupboards. It is a warm hearted easy read.

Sicknote Goes Cruising by Dennis Richards

Sicknote Goes Cruising is about how something brilliant came out of something horrible. After being diagnosed with a debilitating long-term illness in his early 30s, and seeing his life change beyond recognition, Dennis Richards and his wife Mandy discovered the wonderful world of cruising. As his constant attempts to return to good health proved increasingly frustrating, the occasional break on a cruise ship became a shining beacon of hope and positivity. 

What Time Is The Midnight Buffet? by Eddie Thomson

Eddie has been at sea since he was 14 years old and has worked his way up from Deck Cadet to Hotel Manager. In fact there are not many positions he has not held. I had the pleasure of meeting him a few months ago on a ship visit on Voyager which is operated by Voyages of Discovery where he is currently based. The book is a mixture of short stories of questions Eddie has been asked over the years including,”Do the crew live on board?” and “Do these stairs do up?”

If there are any others you would like to share with me please let me know?